A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Once again it is time for the point of view of the dog and the cat. And as always, the dog gets the first say.

7:35 AM. Waking up at home. Strange dreams. I found myself face to roast with a nice big juicy pot roast on a table, nobody around to tell me not to do that... and just when I was about to bite into it, I woke up. Horrible timing, waking up just at the most inopportune time.

7:41 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello, human! How about some breakfast? I’m feeling a wee bit peckish at the moment, what with not having had a bite to eat since last night, and really, at this point, a big bowl of kibbles would hit the spot right about now.

7:43 AM. Devouring a bowl of kibbles. I already know I’m slightly off my all time fastest eating record even while I’m eating, but hey, it’s not how fast you eat but how much you enjoy the meal that really matters, am I right? Of course I’m right. Yum yum yum!

7:47 AM. Out the door for my morning run. See you later, human! Don’t you be thinking of leaving the house without me, because if you’re driving anywhere, I’m totally calling shotgun on having a ride.

7:52 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. The last of the snow’s still lingering about, but there are plenty of meltwater pools and mud puddles for me to run through.

7:58 AM. Splashing through some water. Feeling thoroughly pleased. Is there anything quite as fun as getting all wet and muddy?

8:08 AM. Passing through the woods, wagging my tail, happy as a short tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Or is that a long tailed cat? Wait, why am I characterizing anything in terms of cats? That just isn’t right for a dog to do.

8:12 AM. And speaking of cats, hey, I’m here at the property for that cranky cat. And there she is on the back deck. I think I’ll go say hello.

8:13 AM. The cat is hissing madly while I approach. Come on, cat, can’t we just get along?

8:14 AM. Wagging my tail to signal my good intentions. The cat seems dubious of my inherently trustworthy nature. Come on, cat, surely you know that a wagging tail is a universal sign of trust and integrity and forthright steadfastness and good dogginess.

8:15 AM. The cat continues to hiss and howl up on the deck. I continue to stare up at her. She doesn’t seem impressed by my wagging tail. Oh, boy, I think I need to give myself a bit of a shake- there’s some excess water in my fur, after all.

8:16 AM. Okay, so maybe I should have stepped back before giving myself a shake of the fur. Some of the water and mud ended up splashed up onto the cat. She seems quite annoyed with me right now. More so than usual.

8:17 AM. The cat is displaying freshly sharpened claws and threatening dire consequences if I don’t leave right now. Discretion being the better part of valour, perhaps it’s time for me to depart. Cat? If you believe me or not, I’m sorry for the whole splashing water on you thing, and I promise, it won’t happen again. At least this week.

8:33 AM. Returning home. Human! Loki, Chewer of Slippers and Annoyance of Mailmen, has returned!

8:34 AM. The human opens the back door and looks at me, pursing her lips. Uh oh... I suspect I might be in for a bath and a session with the Towel of Torment before I get inside...

8:51 AM. I have been subjected to a thorough garden hose bath and a scrub down by the Towel of Torment by my human. Okay, so I’m clean now. Won’t happen again, at least not for the rest of the day. I mean, seriously, I can behave myself. Can I go inside and have myself a nap now that it’s all said and done?

8:55 AM. Circling around three times in the living room before settling down for a nap. 

12:05 PM. Scarfing down a dinner roll after successfully mooching one from the human over her lunch. I wonder if it’s possible to get her to make pot roast for dinner tonight. Having had dreamed of it, I’d love to get some of the real thing.

1:33 PM. Barking up a storm at the mailman as he’s dropping off some mail. How dare you drop off mail! Just because that’s your job doesn’t make it right, you fiend!

1:48 PM. Supervising the human while she does some chores out in the barn. Humans really do need to be closely supervised after all, in so many different ways.

3:13 PM. Tea time. I manage to mooch a couple of butterscotch cookies from the human. Yummy!

5:46 PM. Waking up from another nap to the smell of food cooking. Must investigate this. Whatever it is smells really, really, really good.

5:49 PM. I have determined that the human is cooking a pot roast. Oh boy!

6:29 PM. Dinner with the human. She’s cut up some strips of roast for me. Very very tasty. 

8:35 PM. Lying on the floor near the human, curled up, wagging my tail. I wonder what comes first, the wag or the tail.

11:29 PM. The human’s off to bed. Good night, human! Sleep well. It’s a shame you can’t leave the outside door open through the night. I mean, I’d love to go for a moonlight run and splash through some mud puddles.