A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And now it's the cat's turn to have her say...

7:25 AM. Slowly waking up at home. Dreamed of rabbits and peeps. Just what are peeps anyway?

7:27 AM. Staring outside. More of that thaw going on. Still lots of snow left to go, though.

7:31 AM. Pouncing onto the staff’s bed. Staff! Wake up! Breakfast time. I meow insistently.  

7:33 AM. The staff gets up after a great deal of my direct orders through meowing. Come on, come on, some of us haven’t had a treat since last night, and don’t forget the fact that you were out all day yesterday. Granted, on the other hand, it was you who went off to visit your idiot relations for Easter instead of them coming here, so I consider that a favour, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m hungry and want some food.

7:35 AM. Heading downstairs. Staff, why aren’t you coming downstairs with me?

7:41 AM. Pacing downstairs in the living room. Listening to sounds from upstairs. The staff is up in the shower. Come on, staff! I’m hungry and I demand sustenance immediately. Get down here post haste and feed me!

7:52 AM. The staff finally gets downstairs. Okay, staff... breakfast!

7:54 AM. Disappointed once again by the staff’s choice to give me a bowl of field rations instead of a proper breakfast. Staff, one of these days you and I are going to have to have a serious conversation about you no longer buying kibbles.

7:58 AM. Despite my natural reluctance, I eat some of those field rations. Hunger wins over, after all.

8:03 AM. Taking up a position on a windowsill to look out at the vastness of my domain. 

8:14 AM. Movement near the road. Wagging tail- oh, no... it’s that annoying mutt.

8:15 AM. Watching the mutt as he walks by. Well, he’s looking up at the house, but doesn’t seem to see me. I imagine the morning sun’s reflecting off the windows. Remove your presence from my sight, dog!

8:16 AM. The dog continues on, oblivious to my watching him. What purpose dogs serve in the world is a mystery that baffles me.

8:41 AM. Settling down for a nap. Sure, I only woke up just over an hour ago, but one can never have too many naps in a day.

11:53 AM. Awake again. Big stretch. Staff? It must be lunch soon, right? Staff? Staff?

11:54 AM. Looking out one of the windows. Oh, wonderful, the car’s gone. Come on, staff! This is an official holiday! You’re supposed to be off work! And more to the point, you’re supposed to spend all day catering to my whims! Wait... how on earth did she leave without my hearing her go?

12:03 PM. Stewing as I sit on the windowsill, dismayed by the absence of my staff. I’ll have words for her when I get back, I swear to Isis...

1:19 PM. Okay, so the staff’s not going to be back anytime soon... I think a nap’s a good way to kill some time.

3:47 PM. Waking up. I hear a car door!

3:49 PM. The staff walks in the front door. Well, it’s about time! I apply a fierce head bonk to her legs. Where have you been, and more to the point, what treats did you bring back for me? Oh, and by the way, who gave you clearance to leave without consulting me?

3:51 PM. Jumping up on the kitchen table, where the staff is taking care of some grocery bags. Looks like the staff bought some extra Easter candy, lots of chocolate eggs and that sort of thing. Staff, why do you buy things that I’m expressly forbidden to eat? Still, I smell something good in there... smells like tuna.

3:52 PM. The staff presents me with something unexpected- a tuna treat in the shape of an Easter egg. Now this is an Easter treat I can get behind. Why aren’t there any stories about Easter bunnies hauling these around?

3:54 PM. Devouring the treat. So delicious. Staff? This makes up for breakfast.

6:32 PM. Dinner with the staff. Nice roast beef goes down in just the right way. If only my staff wasn’t so remiss in breakfasts. Come to think of it now, I wonder if her brain needs an hour to really wake up in the morning, and that’s why she spends so many breakfasts giving me field rations. It would explain a lot.

8:49 PM. Running up and down the stairs for absolutely no reason. It's a cat thing.

11:28 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Try not to close the bedroom door. If I feel like running around for no reason at all at four in the morning, I would like to be unobstructed as I jump up on the bed and sprint across your face.