A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once more for my dog and cat blogs, starting, as always, with the hound's point of view....

7:23 AM. Waking up. Had vivid dreams. Gnawed on a tyrannosaurus bone. For some reason a palaeontologist was yelling at me.

7:31 AM. I wait patiently for the human at the base of the stairs. Fortunately my keen hearing has determined she’s about done with showering and getting dressed.

7:36 AM. Wagging my tail with great vigor as the human comes downstairs. Hello, human! Isn’t it a wonderful day? How about breakfast? I could do with breakfast. I haven’t had a bite to eat since last night when I swiped that slice of pizza when you weren’t watching.

7:38 AM. A bowl full of kibbles is presented before me. Should I eat with great care and dignity, taking time to savour the taste, or just wolf it down inside five seconds flat?

7:39 AM. Licking my lips after finishing the kibbles. Yum yum yum!

7:43 AM. Out the door to commence my morning rounds. Human, don’t you be running off while I’m away. Woof!

7:51 AM. Running through the back fields, barking at the birds.

8:06 AM. I stop in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. We greet each other in the customary canine fashion and begin to confer. 

8:08 AM. Spike and I compare notes. It does seem the enemy- the squirrels- have been amassing many more nuts and food items than usual as of late. Spike suspects the fact that summer is heading towards its end might have something to do with that. Wait, Spike, summer’s ending? You know, if there were people out there who could read my thoughts, that might irritate them a whole lot. Of course, that would be a little too Fourth Wall and metaphysical.

8:10 AM. Spike and I discuss tactics and strategies in any chance encounters with any of the enemy- namely squirrels, vets, and letter carriers.

8:13 AM. We can’t decide between the two of us which of those three enemies is the most obnoxious and evil, but concede it may well depend on which one of them is around at any given moment. After all, it is exceedingly rare to have all three in the same place at the same time. Unless, of course, a vet is treating a squirrel at the very same moment a letter carrier comes into the office.

8:17 AM. I relate my dream to Spike about chewing on the tyrannosaur bone and the palaeontologist being angry about it. He suggests that unlike most humans, palaeontologists believe bones belong to them and are overly possessive and thoughtless about the needs of dogs. This is one of the reasons, he thinks, why palaeontologists don’t have dogs.

8:19 AM. Bidding goodbye to Spike. I  have much to do, after all, if summer’s heading towards its ending. I haven’t gotten anywhere near my quota of rolling in mud puddles, after all.

8:29 AM. Passing by the property of that cranky cat. No sign of her outside. Oh well, I guess I can’t say hello. It’s probably for the best. Her idea of saying hello is scratching my snout with those claws.

8:41 AM. Back home. Human, it is me, Loki! Did anyone tell you that summer’s starting to run out of time?

8:53 AM. Settling down in the living room for a nap. Maybe I’ll be able to dream of that big tyrannosaur bone again.

11:03 AM. Waking up. Oh, good, it’s not lunch yet. Plenty of time to get my mooching face sad eyes routine ready.

12:23 PM. Have managed to mooch an egg sandwich from the human. Yum yum yum!

1:06 PM. The human is out doing some chores down at the barn. I’m sitting guard beside the house, waiting for that evil malevolence that is the mailman.

1:17 PM. There he is, down the road! That’s his car! The mailman! 

1:19 PM. The mailman stops by the mailbox to drop off some mail. I bark most ardently to warn him to leave immediately! Annoy my human with mail, will you?

1:20 PM. The mailman is off yet again to continue his rounds. One of these days, you’ll have to get out of that car to have my human sign for a package, and guess what? I’ll be there.

3:58 PM. Waking up from a nap on the deck. Feeling hungry. Wait, I'm a dog. I always feel hungry.

6:26 PM. Dinner with the human. I’ve got a plate of diced beef all to myself. For some reason the human likes to eat sprouts with her meat. I don’t know why, I mean, I’ve heard stories about sprouts...

11:41 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. I will provide serious protection throughout the night. Particularly if any cranky palaeontologists come around in my dreams demanding I stop chewing on a raptor bone.