A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before we get ourselves started. Norma posted the last of her Valentine's Day excerpts at her page. Parsnip had a Valentine's cactus. Lynn had a pop culture frenzy post. And Lorelei had a cover design post.

Now then, it is once again time for the dog and cat's point of view, starting, as I must, from the dog's point of view. Woof!

7:32 AM. Waking up. Dreamed about chasing rabbits. 

7:36 AM. Staring outside. Snow falling. We've had quite a lot of snow this winter. 

7:43 AM. Good morning, human! Top of the morning to you! How about we have ourselves some breakfast and get the day underway?

7:46 AM. Just finished wolfing down a bowl full of kibbles. Yum yum yum! 

7:48 AM. Say, human, how about I get out there for a run? I've got to see if there's any of those squirrels about, after all...

7:50 AM. The human opens the door. I dash outside.... and stop in my tracks. Boy is it cold. 

On second thought... maybe my daily constitutional is not such a good idea today. I'll just take care of some business and be back inside in a jiffy. 

Side note: who says the word jiffy anymore?

7:53 AM. Back inside. The human has the Weather Channel on. The forecaster is saying something about the Mother Of All Polar Vortexes. 

Weather forecasters are silly.

8:10 AM. Checking the temperature through the window. When was the last time the mercury got that low, human?

8:25 AM. Well, at least we've got a furnace and a nice fireplace to keep things toasty in here. I'll just stay inside all day and loaf about. I wonder if that cranky cat down the road will miss me. 

8:46 AM. I have decided it is time for a nap. Sure, I've only been up for an hour, but hey, a dog's got to do what a dog's got to do. And staring at that thermometer was getting boring. Now then, circle around three times and lie down. Good boy!

10:05 AM. My nap is rudely interrupted by the sound of the snowplow going by on the road out front. I bark, shrug, and decide to go back to sleep.

12:15 PM. Waking up again. Hmm, feeling a bit peckish....

12:28 PM. I manage to use my sad eyes routine to get the human to give me a couple of dinner rolls. Yum yum yum!

12:51 PM. An examination of the thermometer outside indicates the temperature has not gone up at all. If there's any luck, that annoying squirrel is dealing with a serious case of frozen nuts.

3:49 PM. Waking up from another nap. Hey, wait... did I miss the sound of the mailman's car driving by? I'll just have to give him a double barking tomorrow.

4:10 PM. The human is having tea. I manage to swindle her into giving me a couple of cookies.

6:06 PM. The local news is on. The weather forecaster looks very grave as she tells us the polar vortex isn't going anywhere. She then goes into an aside about something called the Donner Party.

Human, what's the Donner Party?

6:08 PM. The human mutters something about weather forecasters being gutless cowards, and heads into the kitchen to make dinner. 

6:46 PM. The human and I are having pancakes. She gets to have syrup with hers. What, don't you trust me not to make a mess? Well, anyway, it's very tasty.

7:05 PM. Stretching out on my back by the fireplace. Boy, I'm stuffed. Can't eat another bite. Unless by chance there's pie involved. Human, do we have any pie in the house?

8:10 PM. The human's watching curling on television. I really don't understand this sport. I mean, who moves big rocks around with brooms? Who thought this idea up in the first place? And why do so many Canadians find it so fascinating?

8:43 PM. I ignore the strange yelling coming from the curling rink and stare at the ceiling. What is the meaning of life? Why do squirrels exist? Can I have another cookie?

9:26 PM. The human turns off the television. I take the time to try to decipher the temperature on the thermometer outside. Human? I think it's gotten even colder.

10:35 PM. Staring at the wall. Staring some more. Starting to growl. The human asks what's up with me.

No particular reason, human, I just wanted to make you think I'm seeing something you can't see. 

11:02 PM. National news is on. The polar vortex is the big story. That David Phillips guy from Environment Canada is on. How many times this winter has he shown up on the news. His message for the day is "please don't send me hate mail."

11:43 PM. The human is turning off the lights to go up to bed. Have a good night, human. In case the power goes out, though.... will you come back down and start a fire in the fireplace? I like keeping nice and toasty when the temperature drops this far down.