Vampire Sex, Harperland, And Sleazy Weasels

"You can prove anything with statistics. For example, I could tell you that the next election will be rigged in our favour by a margin of two to one in seats in the House. I say that, because I already know we're rigging the election." ~Stephen Harper

A few days ago, I started looking at the statistics of my blog. Where my readers are viewing this nonsense (yes, it's nonsense) from, what sort of search terms they use, the whole nine yards (ten yards on Canadian playing fields). Mostly it's limited to the top few in a given week, month, or all time (I wish I could get my hands on the complete list of search terms).

As is expected, Americans outnumber the second placer in any given time period, usually by two to one. Such as the case when I had a peek at the listings, both in the last few days and over the long term; here are some of the biggest readerships of my blog by country:

United States, Germany, Russia, Poland, Canada (hey! Where are my fellow Canucks?), France, United Kingdom, Ukraine, Turkey, Australia,  Netherlands, and Thailand.

I imagine Thailand might be the reason I get a lot of spam in my spam folders. And who in Turkey or the Ukraine is looking in on this? Germany got a big spike last week; it must be the Nutella blog I did a few days ago. Where typically my blogs might get a hundred views a piece, the Nutella blog spiked up to 900 in the last few days, and Germany was holding second place in the country listings for last week. Maybe it was my remark in that blog about Germans getting angry. Maybe it was taking a shot at David Hasselhoff, who for some bizarre reason is as close as you get to sainthood in Germany.

Maybe Angela Merkel is mad at me. Angela, can I call you Angela? No? Okay, Chancellor, can we talk, just you and I, and my blog readers? I get why you might be a bit annoyed. I'd be annoyed too if I had to put up with the prospect of that Italian sleazeball Berlusconi ever attaining any position of political power again too. Anyway, no hard feelings about the Germans getting angry remark, right? Right?

Though tell me... just why is it Germans are so fascinated by that Hasselhoff dimwit? Come on, Chancellor. We all know he's a dimwit. It's not as if it's a secret.

That leads us to the other matter. The search terms which actually lead to my blog. If you're familiar with GK Adams' blog, she occasionally lists those search terms (and trust me, they can get really weird). The first two from my results aren't surprising. The blog title and A Day In The Life Of A Cat are consistent in being at the top of the heap. My disdain for the uberpartisan zealot currently occupying the Prime Minister's Office (hi, Stevie!) here is well known, so it's not particularly a surprise that his name would turn up in such a list. Some of the others, however... are a bit eyebrow raising. Here are some of the current listings:

William Kendall speak of the devil, A Day In The Life Of A Cat, Harperland, Devon Actress, Sleazy Weasel, Crazy Squirrel, Death, Vampire Sex, Amelia Earhart Diary, Funny Godzilla Pictures, Where's Waldo, Justin Bieber Parody, Spoiled Brat, Miss Piggy, Evil Fluffy, and Maple Leafs.

Hmmm... my calling Seth McFarlane a sleazy weasel really drew out that much of a response? I still stand by my statement, for the record. And did one Where's Waldo blog really draw that much attention? I'm surprised that Grumpy Mountie, Lars Ulrich, or Entertainment Reporters didn't lead more people here.

As to Vampire Sex.... I would think my firing shots across the bow at Twilight (Mr. Sparkles, Sullen Idiot, and Dog Boy more than have it coming, and you know they do) is pretty far removed from Vampire Sex. So how does that turn up among search results that lead to this blog?