Sarah Palin And The Half-Blood Republican

"'Refudiate,' 'misunderestimate,' 'wee-wee'd up.' English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!'" ~ Sarah Palin, on her own creative mangling of the English language

"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed." ~ Sarah Palin, on Paul Revere

"[Paul Revere] did warn the British. And in a shout-out, gotcha-type of question that was asked of me, I answered candidly. And I know my American history." ~  Sarah Palin, on screwing up Paul Revere's place in history even more

"Especially within hours of a tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn. That is reprehensible." ~ Sarah Palin, making herself the victim in comments after the Arizona shooting massacre

"But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies." ~ Sarah Palin, on geo-political understanding

"Because of that one episode, that one episode, that would turn an issue into what it has become over the last two years. I think that's ridiculous. That's one of those things, where that issue...that I don't read, or that I'm not informed, it's one of those questions where I like to turn that around and ask the reporters, 'Why would it be that there is that perception that I don't read?'" ~ Sarah Palin, to Barbara "Why Haven't I Retired" Walters

Just thought I'd remind you of the sheer idiocy that is the Mama Grizzly of Alaska, seeing as how this blog is named after her, and how she's been making noise about stepping in if the whole GOP nomination isn't settled by the convention. By stepping in, she means hijacking the nomination for herself, despite, oh, not actually campaigning.

The Republican primary process grinds ever on and on. The Four Stooges, or the Four Horsemen of the Republipocalypse, keep up the effort to savage each other. Governor Mittens continues to hold the lead, with He Whose Last Name Must Not Be Googled coming up behind (I know, bad double entendre on the other meaning of his last name). And Fig Newtons and the Crazy Old Man just won't take a hint (as of this writing) and quit. The editorial cartoonists of the world, meanwhile, are having a field day with the subject.

The Republicans themselves remain locked in the mindset of "oh, do we have to have him run in November? Why can't it be someone else?"

Though let's face it, the rest of the field is even worse. He Whose Last Name Must Not Be Googled, or Pope Ricky as he'd like to be called, has been busy trying to cast himself off as the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan. Pope Ricky, who's also known by the titles His High And Mightiness and His Infernal Sanctimoniousness, has been irritating many, many women, Democrat and Republican, with his Dark Ages worldview of their place in the world. That doesn't matter to him. He's writing the updated Ten Commandments of Santorum. #1 reads as follows: All women must be subservient to all men. They must bear children, for that is their only role in the world...

Like I said, Dark Ages.

This month, of course, sees the college basketball championships in America. It's referred to as March Madness (I don't know why; personally, I've always found basketball tedious at best) That has worked its way into some of the editorial cartoons:

Governor Mittens has managed to stay in the lead among the Four Stooges, despite the party not liking him at all, and despite his complete inability to relate to anyone who isn't insanely wealthy. The GOP party apparatus seem more and more resigned to his inevitable win, knowing they're going to lose in November anyway...

Governor Mittens, regardless, remains out on the road, trying to pass himself off as a man of the people and coming across as painfully awkward every single time...

And the last two members of the Four Stooges continue to hang in there, despite their inability to take a hint. Fig Newtons, aka the Newtron Bomb, doesn't seem to understand that the party's over, no one's listening, and there no one around him to give him the kick in the butt that he seems to need to understand that his day is done...

While the Crazy Old Man is, well... completely insane and lost in his own world where he thinks making no headway in gaining delegates can still keep him in the race.

And so the Four Stooges lumber on, arguably the worst field of potential candidates in American electoral history. The credible Republican candidates have avoided this year entirely, all too aware that the party's going to have to rebuild itself after this debacle. Maybe in four years, things might be different.

This is the party of Lincoln????

President Obama, meanwhile, is smiling quietly, watching the Four Stooges do all his work for him, sharpening the knives. There'll be a turkey to carve up come November, after all...

In closing, perhaps you're still stuck. Perhaps you can't vote for the President, and this pack of Four Stooges doesn't appeal to you at all. May I offer another suggestion?

Vote for Bruce Campbell.