Elections Would Be So Much More Tolerable Without The Politicians

It seems like it's already been weeks, or months since the election here in Canada has been called, and we're not even halfway through the campaign. Maybe it's the incessant number of election signs. The campaign whistle stops. The endless political ads. Calls coming in the evening from every party known to Canadians (no trace of the Vampire Bunny Party, strangely; did anyone tell them about the election?).

 And the choice for us to make?

A Conservative Prime Minister who has dictatorial tendencies and thinks the word progressive is the most obscene word in the English language.

A Liberal leader who's desperately short on personality. And by short, I mean he doesn't have a personality.

A too far to the left leader of the New Democrats who can't take the hint to do something about that '70s porn star moustache.

A Green Party leader who can't get herself into a leadership debate, let alone consider the idea of running in a riding where she might stand a chance of winning. I mean, is the woman trying to lose deliberately?

And in Quebec, a deranged separatist who loves the word referendum, and looks like that crazy guy you always thought would be the one who'd go postal in school.

Oh, and if we're talking about fringe parties, one can always throw their vote away on the Marxist Leninists, the Communists, the Marijuana Party (they really need to remind their supporters which day the polls open, because otherwise they'll be too stoned to vote), the Libertarians, and the Pirate Party (Avast, ye scabberous dogs! Bring me that horizon!).

I keep telling myself to be patient. It'll be all over by the beginning of May. Which seems so far away....