Me: Now, if we could all get back in order and get things back on track, I'd really appreciate it. We have to wrap things up here.
Stryker: We'll try.
Devon: Speak for yourself.
Claire: I'll have to get back to you.
Cain: Look, if it's not too much trouble, I have to go hunt some IRA bastards down and kill them in all sorts of terrible ways. Can we hurry up?
Nahas: Did you actually admit to that with intelligence officers around?
Cain: Oh, come on, I've got a free pass from our author here. Besides, it's the bloody IRA!
Nahas: Didn't they sign a peace treaty some years ago?
Cain: Not with me. I still have scores to settle.
Me: Cain?
Cain: Yes.
Me: I can forego that free pass, you know.
Cain: Shutting up now.
Eden: Let me ask you this. Does this help your writing process?
Me: Of course. It's taking you all as characters out of your normal setting and letting me interact with you. In a manner of speaking. It gets me inside your heads.
Devon: Aren't we already inside your head? You did create us.
Zaira: Inside his head is a scary place.
Me: All right, who told you that?
Dayan: Well said, my dear.
Beigel: What was that? Dahlia and I are busy playing tongue hockey.
Dahlia: His breath tastes like peppermint, and I love that swirly thing he does inside my mouth...
Dahlia and Beigel go back to making out.
Me: I suppose I shouldn't even bother asking you two to pay attention.
Dayan: Sorry, but I suspect it's a lost cause.
Zaira: They're addicted to each other.
Eden: They're exhibitionists, actually. Last week they were going at each other out in the hot tub while everyone was watching.
Cain: Really? Any chance we can get a repeat?
Stryker: Nice idea, but maybe later.
Me: Let's finish up. I'm at a point now where I've launched into the proverbial Very Bad Thing...
Claire: Yes, I understand you're trying to trademark those three words.
Me: How do you all feel about that? About the worst case scenario?
Nahas: How should we? You refuse to explain this Very Bad Thing to your characters.
Cain: I'd suspect I have something to do with it, but he's told me I only appear briefly in the book. Unless that was a smoke screen. Was it, Kendall?
Me: That's for me to know and for you to wonder until the third book.
Devon: The worst case scenario? Is that what you're writing?
Me: Yes, it is.
Devon: Why not write a family drama? Or a legal novel? Or go for something that'll win you the Governor General's Award?
Me: You know about the Governor General's Award?
Devon: Certainly. Why not go for something like that?
Me: Because it's people like Margaret Atwood who win that sort of thing, and to be perfectly honest, I find Margaret Atwood tedious, boring, and insufferable.
Nahas: Oh, good. I'm not the only one.
Claire: You too? So do I!
Dayan: I'd say we all do.
Devon: No disagreement here.
Me: Great. We all agree we don't like Margaret Atwood. Now. Am I ever going to get an answer out of you? What do you think about the book shifting towards its central event?
Stryker: Might be nice to clue your characters into what that event is.
Me: Maybe afterwards when we're not being read.
Zaira: Oh, you mean by those people out there. Hello, everyone out beyond the Fourth Wall! Our author is holding out on us.
Me: So much for straight ans... Rafi, Dahlia, I don't think anyone appreciates having your clothes tossed on us like that.
Eden: Speak for yourself. I'm a voyeur. I keep wondering if I should just toss aside all inhibitions, strip off my clothes, and join them.
Cain: Indulge that thought. By all means.
Stryker: We'll try.
Devon: Speak for yourself.
Claire: I'll have to get back to you.
Cain: Look, if it's not too much trouble, I have to go hunt some IRA bastards down and kill them in all sorts of terrible ways. Can we hurry up?
Nahas: Did you actually admit to that with intelligence officers around?
Cain: Oh, come on, I've got a free pass from our author here. Besides, it's the bloody IRA!
Nahas: Didn't they sign a peace treaty some years ago?
Cain: Not with me. I still have scores to settle.
Me: Cain?
Cain: Yes.
Me: I can forego that free pass, you know.
Cain: Shutting up now.
Eden: Let me ask you this. Does this help your writing process?
Me: Of course. It's taking you all as characters out of your normal setting and letting me interact with you. In a manner of speaking. It gets me inside your heads.
Devon: Aren't we already inside your head? You did create us.
Zaira: Inside his head is a scary place.
Me: All right, who told you that?
Dayan: Well said, my dear.
Beigel: What was that? Dahlia and I are busy playing tongue hockey.
Dahlia: His breath tastes like peppermint, and I love that swirly thing he does inside my mouth...
Dahlia and Beigel go back to making out.
Me: I suppose I shouldn't even bother asking you two to pay attention.
Dayan: Sorry, but I suspect it's a lost cause.
Zaira: They're addicted to each other.
Eden: They're exhibitionists, actually. Last week they were going at each other out in the hot tub while everyone was watching.
Cain: Really? Any chance we can get a repeat?
Stryker: Nice idea, but maybe later.
Me: Let's finish up. I'm at a point now where I've launched into the proverbial Very Bad Thing...
Claire: Yes, I understand you're trying to trademark those three words.
Me: How do you all feel about that? About the worst case scenario?
Nahas: How should we? You refuse to explain this Very Bad Thing to your characters.
Cain: I'd suspect I have something to do with it, but he's told me I only appear briefly in the book. Unless that was a smoke screen. Was it, Kendall?
Me: That's for me to know and for you to wonder until the third book.
Devon: The worst case scenario? Is that what you're writing?
Me: Yes, it is.
Devon: Why not write a family drama? Or a legal novel? Or go for something that'll win you the Governor General's Award?
Me: You know about the Governor General's Award?
Devon: Certainly. Why not go for something like that?
Me: Because it's people like Margaret Atwood who win that sort of thing, and to be perfectly honest, I find Margaret Atwood tedious, boring, and insufferable.
Nahas: Oh, good. I'm not the only one.
Claire: You too? So do I!
Dayan: I'd say we all do.
Devon: No disagreement here.
Me: Great. We all agree we don't like Margaret Atwood. Now. Am I ever going to get an answer out of you? What do you think about the book shifting towards its central event?
Stryker: Might be nice to clue your characters into what that event is.
Me: Maybe afterwards when we're not being read.
Zaira: Oh, you mean by those people out there. Hello, everyone out beyond the Fourth Wall! Our author is holding out on us.
Me: So much for straight ans... Rafi, Dahlia, I don't think anyone appreciates having your clothes tossed on us like that.
Eden: Speak for yourself. I'm a voyeur. I keep wondering if I should just toss aside all inhibitions, strip off my clothes, and join them.
Cain: Indulge that thought. By all means.
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