tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post7844499594327918979..comments2024-03-28T14:32:41.320-04:00Comments on Speak of the Devil: Getting Dragged Right Back InWilliam Kendallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-75160587259431431442017-09-25T16:40:02.973-04:002017-09-25T16:40:02.973-04:00I feel uplifted to know they're not in my life...I feel uplifted to know they're not in my life. I can go for months on end now not even thinking of them.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-85639236939296449832017-09-25T16:39:12.281-04:002017-09-25T16:39:12.281-04:00Thank you.Thank you.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-30989959701001834832016-10-16T13:48:28.251-04:002016-10-16T13:48:28.251-04:00Thanks for sharing. That was a powerful piece. I&#...Thanks for sharing. That was a powerful piece. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that. Toxic people don't even know they're toxic. They act like they're helping you which played a mess with my mind. I thought there was something wrong with me for not agreeing with, going along with, them. I felt so much better when those people were no longer in my life. Auden Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13484527377996130004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-19810683416139812092016-10-15T07:34:35.191-04:002016-10-15T07:34:35.191-04:00You made a wise choice, William--in all of this. T...You made a wise choice, William--in all of this. Toxic people are all around us. You work with them, you may even have relatives, as you do.<br />I've had to deal with siblings, older than me, whom I could not stand to live with, but had to. I don't think I went through half of what you did.<br />Getting them out of your life is the best and bravest thing you could do. <br />And lastly, yes. Classical music is soothing. If only more people would realize this. My husband was going through depression years back, and discovered the music (which I always listened to) soothed him. He remembers the one song that lifted him. It was called "Lark Ascending". It's beautiful, and I knew why it helped him get back some of his being.<br />Take care, William. And good for you!Lorelei Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03294047277447613989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-70620402258212799572016-10-14T16:59:56.624-04:002016-10-14T16:59:56.624-04:00@Meradeth: the guilt is a tricky one.
@Lynn: and ...@Meradeth: the guilt is a tricky one.<br /><br />@Lynn: and this was a big dam burst.<br /><br />@Denise: in both cases, I believe low self esteem is at the heart of their issues.<br /><br />@FG: I can see that possible prognosis having that kind of effect. You're welcome.<br /><br />@Kay: nature is a very good cure.<br /><br />@Jennifer: thank you.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-51056504667418245662016-10-14T07:51:48.342-04:002016-10-14T07:51:48.342-04:00This is an articulate post. I've been through ...This is an articulate post. I've been through depression, as well. I didn't know it. It began with a boss who loathed me! Co-workers were angry with me, many didn't understand. The trick is in knowing how to manage it, which, I think, both of us know how to do. Well done.Jenn Jilkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05259681360456905055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-34992092616469020432016-10-13T22:23:30.622-04:002016-10-13T22:23:30.622-04:00Oh, depression! We go w-a-a-y back. Sounds like yo...Oh, depression! We go w-a-a-y back. Sounds like you're taking the steps you need to deal with the external reasons. I also recommend walking, lots of walking - preferably out in nature. It's harder to stay sunk when you're surrounded by beauty. Hang in there, William. It CAN get better. Much better.Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02971991029290518107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-22926265286982808362016-10-13T21:52:31.575-04:002016-10-13T21:52:31.575-04:00So sorry you've been through this, but you'...So sorry you've been through this, but you've articulated an understanding of it very well. My issue wasn't quite the same, but I've certainly seen it in other families we're close to. Mine was a fear of going blind as a teenager when I had an eye disease. But what I learned about depression at the time has strengthened me ever since. Take care, and think of yourself first. Having met you, I'll be able to picture you when I think of you. Thanks for sharing.The Furry Gnomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02485265576983125216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-82768849350255979012016-10-13T13:42:13.127-04:002016-10-13T13:42:13.127-04:00I have had toxic people in my life, where I have h...I have had toxic people in my life, where I have had to divorce myself from them to stop the feelings of 'what did I do to make them say such awful, horrible things?" The truth is they probably have such low self esteem that they have to try and make others feel worse than they do, whether they know it or not. When a person leaves your presence and you breathe a sigh of relief and feel lighter in spirit, then you know it's time to say goodbye to them and have as little contact as possible. Life is far too short to deal with them. I am so sorry you have had to deal with this for many years but I can see your strength. You are doing all the right things and I hope you can pat yourself on the back every now and again and say I'm a good person. We all need to do that. You are a good person William, always remember that.<br />DeniseinVAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08494518513936310345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-67541653140789022502016-10-13T12:34:15.081-04:002016-10-13T12:34:15.081-04:00William, I admire you for speaking about this in s...William, I admire you for speaking about this in such detail. It takes a lot of courage to talk about pain. <br /><br />I can relate to the holding it in stuff. Eventually, it bursts out. And like a dam breaking, there's damage to repair.<br /><br />It is said you can't choose your family. True, but you sure can choose to separate from them when they are nothing but bad for you. Well done, William.Lynn Benoithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11602264087475847806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-4721739084708259192016-10-13T12:02:03.143-04:002016-10-13T12:02:03.143-04:00There are so many excellent points in this and I a...There are so many excellent points in this and I am very happy to see that you're back and feeling better. I really like the idea of re-writing the dream. I will have to use that one myself. Cutting people out of your life is always difficult (well, the guilt is), but I completely understand why it's necessary. I had to do that with my ex and my dad--both are still painful, but both were needed.Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-48587501806064711282016-10-13T10:24:08.337-04:002016-10-13T10:24:08.337-04:00@Cheryl: thank you.
@Mari: well, generally I have...@Cheryl: thank you.<br /><br />@Mari: well, generally I haven't been in contact. Haven't spoken directly to either of them since my mother's funeral, and the odd email that's come my way has gone unanswered.<br /><br />@Gord: thank you.<br /><br />@Mark: and here I remain in the realm of -40 winters and ice giants.<br /><br />@Petrea: I'll never let it drag me down to that worst spot I was in again. This spell though was a rough one.<br /><br />@Grace: writing it down or saying it in therapy is like ridding myself of the poison. It feels better with every word.<br /><br />@Lowell: I know that feeling well- just feeling like you can't face the day.<br /><br />@Red: therapy has helped a lot. My last session was much needed.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-9316301249121063232016-10-13T10:16:07.722-04:002016-10-13T10:16:07.722-04:00I am sorry to hear that you have had to live with ...I am sorry to hear that you have had to live with mental health problems most of your life. It hits you like a ton of bricks and leaves you with very little hope. You seem to have had some therapy that helps and gives you some times that you have some rsepite from the dark times. I hope that you recover quickly and remain healthy.Redhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996243850279671523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-69085944719553665652016-10-13T08:17:23.567-04:002016-10-13T08:17:23.567-04:00Very powerful, William! I've not personally s...Very powerful, William! I've not personally suffered from the kind of depression you have but both my parents did and I remember how terrible it was. My mother got hit when I was about 12-13. She cried for months. Couldn't get out of bed. I'd come home from school and say, "Hi Mom," and she'd start weeping. My dad came later and I think he thought that I had chosen the wrong path in life or not the one he wanted me to choose. Shock treatments helped him but it took a long time.<br /><br />At any rate, I think you've come through many battles with courage and pluck and have discovered important things about yourself. I know the challenge never goes away entirely but it's good to know there are people who do care and can help. <br /><br />Thanks for sharing your story. It may be that will be helpful to others, also. <br /><br />I've come to appreciate your writing and your take on things and wish you the very best. You've got a friend in Florida!Lowellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15305748075301453010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-18846230921082542382016-10-13T04:30:51.152-04:002016-10-13T04:30:51.152-04:00Well done William! I think putting it all down in ...Well done William! I think putting it all down in writing is a form of therapy also. If positive vibes from around the world help, you have them in abundance xxPerthDailyPhotohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14077053209100022305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-72897440059727731072016-10-13T00:48:57.919-04:002016-10-13T00:48:57.919-04:00William, look at all the support here, and all the...William, look at all the support here, and all the people who've experienced something similar to what you've gone through. Then add me to the list of supporters, as well as sufferers. <br /><br />I certainly agree about toxic people. I've had to distance myself from toxic family members and a couple of toxic "friends." I understand why they are the way they are, but I don't have to suffer their sicknesses. I can forgive, but I don't have to forget, or to keep their toxic emotional disease in my life.<br /><br />I disagree with you on only one thing: I don't think you'll always have to deal with depression. Yes, it will return. But each time you fight that dragon it will take less out of you to conquer it. And each time it returns it will be diminished. <br /><br />You are the winner, William.Petrea Burchardhttp://petreaburchard.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-61593934085046440672016-10-12T22:23:26.719-04:002016-10-12T22:23:26.719-04:00You just told the story of my earlier life, except...You just told the story of my earlier life, except for me it was toxic step-parents, and my depression always worsened in winter. I'd give you a big manly hug, if you lived somewhere south so I could visit.Mark R Hunterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-78902998681498099342016-10-12T22:12:17.528-04:002016-10-12T22:12:17.528-04:00Thank you for sharing this.
I'm betting you&...Thank you for sharing this. <br /><br />I'm betting you've made somebody out there feel just a little less alone in their struggle tonight. Gordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02444745959984430778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-84988208411122560862016-10-12T19:59:44.054-04:002016-10-12T19:59:44.054-04:00The one thing that has been said over and over is ...The one thing that has been said over and over is the truth. You are the only one that you can change. I have no idea why you remained in contact with either after the mistreated your parents. You are strong enough to continue the healing. Oh, and telling idiots that they are idiots can be done in a nice way. Sometimes they are even intelligent enough to recognize themselves. The good part about that is that they never speak to you again. Hugs, my friend. Mari Collierhttp://www.maricollier.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-55185360131653390672016-10-12T17:27:55.090-04:002016-10-12T17:27:55.090-04:00Poor William. I feel so bad for you.
But it seems...Poor William. I feel so bad for you.<br /><br />But it seems to me that therapy has already helped you a lot. You can't change people; you can only change the way you react to them. And if it means avoiding them or cutting them out of your life forever... Whatever it takes, do it. Because that's the only way to survive. I'm glad you've figured it out.Cheryl B. Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04278782212826383478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-42991450039152511982016-10-12T17:02:45.399-04:002016-10-12T17:02:45.399-04:00@Norma: thank you. I am best off as far from them ...@Norma: thank you. I am best off as far from them as possible.<br /><br />@Eve: one can choose their friends, fortunately.<br /><br />@Kelly: thank you.<br /><br />@JE: I wanted so much to hit him, and worse. He'd literally worn down my last nerve. Even my mother, who was described as a saint by a friend before her funeral, said it took days to recover from all the tension of him being around the house. Another thing that I thought about when he was saying all that- I'm supposed to take advice from someone who screwed up his life as bad as him?<br /><br />@Shelly: family can sometimes do more damage to you than someone you're not related to.<br /><br />@Parsnip: I know there have been times it's worn me down physically as well.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-88643321754411490992016-10-12T16:57:40.154-04:002016-10-12T16:57:40.154-04:00Willian, your are very strong to have written this...Willian, your are very strong to have written this and so much more healthy.<br />Just change your sisters for my x. I know this story. The only problem is I chose him and the children and I payed and are still paying the price of his destructive actions towards us. They never speak to him and have cut off all contact. my guilt is huge.<br />I think you are on the right path, depression is a huge rock to have strapped to your back. <br />Besides your mind the depression affects your health. After the divorce I felt free and had about 3 happy years but the strain of all the years has wrecked my health pretty much house bound but I am so happy every morning I wake up without him in my life.<br /><br />You take care of yourself.<br />gayle<br />angryparsniphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17236094827257446781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-33707430518655738892016-10-12T16:42:38.045-04:002016-10-12T16:42:38.045-04:00Wow! Who needs enemies when you've got special...Wow! Who needs enemies when you've got special family members. Glad you go to therapy. My mom is my problem and my sister's and my brother's. From birth, we've been dealing with her pathological lies, bi-polar, and narcissistic behaviors. Never in all my life did I think she could and would continue to abuse us into and throughout our adulthood. and even though we don't speak to her and there are three states between her and us, she still gets away with abuse. One day several novels will reflect those scenarios. The Lie is one of them. Mine and my childrens' lives were crushed by what she did. All my daughters have terrible <br />memories. Two of them are addicts and can't shake that part of the destruction in their lives. Sir Wills, I suffer from PSTD. It can be debilitating and misunderstood at times. I abhore injustice of any kind. shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09596621767297173021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-10774968718032698162016-10-12T16:05:49.634-04:002016-10-12T16:05:49.634-04:00What an ordeal to go through. I know how hard it i...What an ordeal to go through. I know how hard it is when you have emotionally abusive family members. I don't know how you ever kept your mouth shut when that idiot basically called you a spoiled brat ("I don't mean to degrade you" my ass). I hope things get better for you. Depression is a nasty beast to have to deal with.J E Oneilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09780097298061829471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7630295318214379308.post-55280088715390183292016-10-12T14:19:00.401-04:002016-10-12T14:19:00.401-04:00I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I...I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad to see you are putting your needs first. You need to. People like this aren't worth your time or emotions.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.com